Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
