i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
