He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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