this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
