I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
