well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
