Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
