I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
