I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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