i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
