I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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