Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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