Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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