I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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