Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
