Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
