Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.

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  (805): My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping. http://tfl.nu/dvm6
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming

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  (703): my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming http://tfl.nu/nmyq
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.

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  (720): the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat. http://tfl.nu/19vn
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  (817): View more from Texas

  i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night

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  (817): i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night http://tfl.nu/17kd
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  (631): View more from New York

  Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"

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  (631): Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore" http://tfl.nu/gl8n
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  (305): View more from Florida

  and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him

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  (305): and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him http://tfl.nu/st8n
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.

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  (860): i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm. http://tfl.nu/uzjb
  Replies (20) Good night (3933) Bad night (1100)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.

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  (201): Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it. http://tfl.nu/ciee
  Replies (10) Good night (1970) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again

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  (570): I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again http://tfl.nu/qatr
  Replies (7) Good night (1851) Bad night (506)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.

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  (515): They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form. http://tfl.nu/tu4k
  Replies (2) Good night (1130) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?

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  (607): So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear? http://tfl.nu/a30u
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.

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  (503): I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation. http://tfl.nu/ib5h
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.

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  (636): Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year. http://tfl.nu/cp8d
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.

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  (405): I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point. http://tfl.nu/fmbd
  Replies (1) Good night (502) Bad night (286) Order T-Shirt
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.

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  (320): My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with. http://tfl.nu/8o04
  Replies (0) Good night (433) Bad night (326) Order T-Shirt

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