I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.