Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
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I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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