I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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