I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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