So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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