Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
