I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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