And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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