I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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