the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
