biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
