My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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