nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I didn't notice because vodka
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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