the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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