U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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