the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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