is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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