I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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