I think i peed on brittanys purse
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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