I'll bet she douches with gravy.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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