as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
