I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
