Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
