I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
