I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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