walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
