How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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