i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
