also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
