He asked to "fluff my boner.."
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
