My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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