wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
