Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize