I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
