He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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