Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
And my parents said I crawled through the house
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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