Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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