Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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