I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
