i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
