I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
