I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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