Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Are we still banned from the library?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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