Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize