jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
